her vagine was all disorganized.
Jerry, you need to find god
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
