Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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