Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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