I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
