The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
