What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
