i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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