forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize