Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
