gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
