The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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