The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
