We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
