That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
