Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
