I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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