I just threw up on my dentist
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
