we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she told me i tasted like america
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
