he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
