youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize