Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
