4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
