And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
