This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
