Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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