Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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