Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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