So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The air taste purple.
Randomize
