is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
