I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
