Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
