Four minutes until I can fart!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
