Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
