There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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