I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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