If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
