He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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