There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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