the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
