i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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