Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
