were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
