some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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