Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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