well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
