brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Terrible idea I love it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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