Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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