sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
