Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know her cup size but not her name....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
