Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
