i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Green mimosas i think yes
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
