drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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