And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
