woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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