Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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