She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
