Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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