i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
