google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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